Tapering for the Weekend Warrior

Tapering (noun):

  1. the practice of reducing exercise in the days just before an important competition
  2. an excuse for being lazy
  3. a lifestyle, the lifestyle of Climber Kyle

I am excited to announce the release of my first book: Tapering for the Weekend Warrior. This book is meant to be a training manual for “overdreamers and underachievers”, which, broadly encompasses most of us mountain “athletes”. I hope it can be a helpful alternative to those who are sick and tired of tracking heart rate zones or simply are confused what the hell is “Zone 2”.

Back in 2018, as I entered the workforce and adult life, I decided to try to take my training to a new level. Naturally, I bought and read Training for the New Alpinism, the oddly cultish training “bible” for mountain athletes. I read and re-read about the physiology of endurance training, visualized Scott’s killer core routine (visualized how great my abs would be if I actually ever did his routine), and read success stories from some of the great alpinists around the world. I drank the cool-aid. I was baptized by religion, the Word of Steve.

Fairview Rest
Back when I was serious about this climbing thing.

The problem is, it just did not work out. I found it challenging to dedicate enough time training at a slow pace while balancing work, life, video games, partying, scrolling through social media (Instagram, Strava, Hinge), tracking the latest price of Dogecoin, and of course, absolutely sending the gnar out of the mountains and putting so many peaks in the bag that the handles ripped and the contents of my life spilled all over the floor. Who has 26 weeks to crawl up Cable Line daily before their big send? I’m going to Rainier in just 26 hours from now! No amount of glycolysis magic could help me there.

Desperate times call for desperate measures.

Alex Honnold and Tommy Caldwell, cuddling on the CUDL

I remember getting home from a wild two day expedition to bag all high points in the city of Seattle and waking up Monday morning feeling absolutely thrashed. The commitments I made to myself and Master Steve about training felt absolutely impossible, especially considering the big Monday Night Football matchup that won’t just watch itself. If no one watched sports, how would the leagues be sustained? America depends on me, and all the other weekend warriors who send it huge but still make time in their busy lives for what matters most. Tuesday had a Happy Hour and Karaoke at work; Wednesday was for LoL (League of Legends) with the boys; Thursday I had a date; and Friday I had to go to bed early in preparation for my next big send: running to all Dick’s in the Seattle area and eating a milkshake and burger at each one. I felt overwhelmed. I just couldn’t do it anymore.

Necessity is the mother of invention.”

Fred Beckey

In such a desperate condition, I found myself completely rejecting the dogma which had completely taken over my life. I resolved to break free and live my life exactly as I wanted it. So I became a lazy bum during the week, and a bad ass mountain crusher on the weekends. I started a blog and called myself a “climber” even though I hardly ever climb and the rest is history. You can browse my blog for my list of accolades and accomplishments. I owe all of this success to a simple philosophy: less is more.

The other Kyle ranting about how athletes that are serious about training perpetuate the “intergenerational aerobic privilege gap”.

Tapering for the Weakened Warrior is the culmination of my experience with training – er, I mean tapering – for big mountain objectives in the most challenging mountain ranges in the world (i.e. the Issaquah Alps). In this book, there is no analysis of heart rate zones, 26 week training plans, or aerobic adaptation. Just go send it, brah. And in between, chill out, eat whatever you want, drink aplenty, and dream. More Zone 0, baby! Tapering has been the secret sauce for athletes for decades, so why not just take it to the extreme? The bigger the objective, the bigger the taper. #ABT #AlwaysBeTapering

I feel confident that my book will send shockwaves through the mountain community. For so long, lies have been sold in the form of training plans, books, and seminars. The truth should be music to your ears. To train is to taper, to taper is to train.

My book is available for pre-order on Amazon. Still not convinced? Here are some testimonies from some of the most accomplishments mountain athletes in the PNW.

Shoutout to Kelly and Aime for helping me with the infographics, and to Kaytlyn, Jenny, and Jeff for leaving customer reviews!

2 thoughts on “Tapering for the Weekend Warrior”

  1. YES! Love it. “…absolutely sending the gnar out of the mountains and putting so many peaks in the bag that the handles ripped and the contents of my life spilled all over the floor.” 🤣

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